A poem

Don't know if you could call this living
the constant grinding
this constant hustling
of getting up
walking down stairs
rushing to catch
set schedules
to fit in and
just to get by
fighting for space
fighting for a future
that may never come.

The calls got me chewing
my nails down to the nub
feel like I'm in a constant state
of nothingness
of moments that lead to nothing
actions that mean nothing
saying words that mean nothing.

This can't be living
only feel alive
when I'm dreaming
even if its a bad one
better than a sad day
some may say
dry your tears
and keep, keeping on
but what's the point
of keeping on
when there's really
no where to go.

But up
there's always the top
but what's to great about that?

Small Chick Big City

I'm not an all-American girl, didn't grow up in a small town, I grew up in New York City, you know the one that never sleeps, or even naps for that matter. Now this city has been compared to a jungle (and if you've ever seen a the caravan of yellow cabs that speed down fifth avenue it would be easy to see why), and in a jungle its difficult enough for a man to get by, survive, and eventually thrive imagine being a petite little brown girl.

There are times when I've felt as though I'm going to be swallowed whole. On the subway (the main form of affordable transportation for us underprivileged New Yorkers) there have been so many times when people act as if I'm just not there, either by ignoring me when I try to get by or by pretty much walking over me to get past me. I don't stand too close to the edge of the train platform for fear that someone might push me in because they just won't notice me or will be in such a hurry that they won't care. I don't know why but people in this city are always in such a hurry. Well I do know why, because well I've been guilty of it too, people in New York got places to go. If they are walking, its most likely because they have some place to be, whether its meeting a friend or taking care of business New Yorkers always have some place to be.

There's one way to tell a New Yorker from a non-New Yorker, if they are hanging out in Times Square than you are not a real New Yorker. See real New Yorkers do their best to stay away from the main tourist areas (Times Square, Herald Square, Rockefeller Center) when you're trying to get somewhere the worse thing in the world is to have some perfect stranger staring at the buildings in the middle of your path.

But there is something beautiful about this city. I see it during the sunsets by Riverside Drive and walking the empty streets and three or four o'clock in the morning. These are the times when the city its at its best. When I can stand back and appreciate the architecture of the buildings, especially the brownstones, really notice how the blocks are laid out, take account full account of its various sky lines. Just be able to take in the sheer splendor of it all. The sheer immensity of it all.

Now all I need is someone to be able to share those 4am moments with. Someone to share in the smallness of life, the little moments that seem like nothing at the time but stay with you for a lifetime. This is not tales of a single girl in the city looking for love. These are the trials and tribulations of a girl looking for herself. Looking for a way to define myself, define my life. Stay tuned because there is more to come.

Health Reform by the Numbers | The White House

Please check out this video by a woman who is currently dealing with the nightmare that is the healthcare industry.

What does it say about us as country, as a people if our healthcare system thinks that their bottom line is more important than patient's lives?

How can we call ourselves a God loving country if we can't love our fellow man enough to put their health and well being ahead of the interests of a group of people who own stock in a private corporation?

The time to act is now! We can no longer let the interests of a few override the health of many.

Health Reform by the Numbers | The White House